Maybe you’ve landed on this page because...
- You're in a lavender or mixed-orientation marriage and you're struggling.
- You’ve discovered something that leaves you feeling uncertain, or unsettled and you want to do what's best but you're uncertain what that is.
- You or your spouse has recently come out and you're not sure what comes next.
- You or your partner have been unfaithful and you're not sure how to recover.
- Attraction has shifted in your marriage and you don't know if that can change.
- You feel as though you don't recognize your spouse or yourself and you don't know what to do.
- You knew what you were choosing when you got married, but you or your partner now struggles with attraction or desire within your relationship
When desire or attraction issues arise...
in any marriage it is disorienting. But when they show up in a mixed-orientation marriage, it can be easy to make assumptions.
For instance, if attraction shifts or disappears, it can be easy to blame same-sex attraction. The truth is, same-sex attraction may be a factor...but it might not be.
And when you're making life-changing decisions about your marriage and family, you don't want to base them on something that might be true. You want to be confident in your choice.
Maybe you've tried
- changing yourself to be more of what your partner wants
- talking to your partner and trying to get them to change
- being more sexually open
- forgiving mistakes and moving on
- everything you can imagine to increase closeness and connection
Only to have more distance and space
You're not alone! We all do the things we think will help, but the truth is...
It's not you, it's the framework!
Often, what we learn about relationships is the exact opposite of what facilitates desire later in marriage.
That's why I started Complex Couples Coaching.
To help individuals and couples make sense of sexual desire or attraction issues in their marriage. Particularly when
- One or both partners experience same-sex attraction
- There has been infidelity or a loss of trust
- Differences seem too big to get over
Because I understand what it's like to prioritize working on my marriage only to discover I'm working on the wrong things.
And I know how it feels to wonder if my marriage is the exception to the rules because I, too, am in a mixed-orientation marriage.
If you’re unsure about how something is impacting your marriage — and you want clarity before making decisions — this is the place to begin.
To learn more about Heidi, click HERE.
Where do I Start?
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The content provided by Complex Couples Coaching, a division of Heidi V. Applegarth, LLC, is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to diagnose, treat, or cure any condition, nor does it substitute for professional mental health services.
Participation in coaching, courses, or the use of educational materials does not create a therapist-client relationship. If you are in crisis or need mental health treatment, please contact a licensed therapist or emergency service in your area.
