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What If Standing Up for Yourself Isn’t About Standing Up to Them?

Season #1

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What if the resentment you’re feeling is pointing to a place where you have more choice than you realize?

In this episode, I share a moment that challenged the way I was seeing my husband and helped me look more closely at a pattern between us. 

We’ll explore what can happen when you separate the facts from the story you’re telling yourself and get curious about your own role without taking responsibility for what isn’t yours.

  • How resentment can build when you keep giving up what you want
  • Separating what your partner is actually doing from the story you’re telling yourself
  • The fears that can make it difficult to advocate for what matters to you

This Week’s Invitation

  1. Look at where you’re angry with your partner for something.
  2. Write down the data - using only what you can see and hear.
  3. Ask yourself: What is my part in keeping this going? What could I do differently that does not depend on my partner changing first?
  4. And finally, ask yourself, what am I afraid I might have to face if I actually did that?
  5. Determine if you’re willing to face those fears or or whether, for now, you’d prefer to continue the pattern as it is. Either way, own that choice instead of making your partner the sole bad guy.

Connect

🧭 FREE Guide "When Your Spouse Comes Out: 9 practical tools to help you navigate the aftermath of disclosure or discovery." ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/guide 

⭐️ Want private coaching? ➡ https://www.complexcouplescoaching.com/coaching-application 

🎙️ Join me on my YouTube channel Complex Couples Podcast ➡ Watch this episode here. 

📧 Questions? Comments? A topic you’d like covered? Email me at: heidi@complexcouplescoaching.com 

This podcast is for educational purposes only. It does not replace therapy, and it's not a substitute for professional mental health care. The examples I share are brief snapshots designed to illustrate a principle and may not apply to every situation. Because every relationship is unique, consider these principles thoughtfully and seek individualized professional guidance when needed. If your relationship involves violence, intimidation, or you have concerns for your safety, please seek support from professionals who can help you assess your specific situation and address it appropriately.